… to the startled gentleman who was walking his three large, perfectly well-behaved dogs down the Fell Lane at Muncaster on Tuesday.

I’m sure my dog wouldn’t really have ripped the soft bits out of yours:  showing them all 42 of his splendid teeth like that was just his idea of being friendly.

I’ve bought him a new running lead and a good strong harness, though – just in case.  And I mean, really – look at him. Butter wouldn’t melt, would it?

Thank you.  *embarrassed cough*